Our work together. Your new chapter.

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Surviving a trauma such as an accident, a crime, or abuse can leave you feeling a wide range of emotions. Some people experience guilt, anxiety, or depression after a traumatic event or series of events. Other common reactions include intrusive memories of the event, nightmares, or efforts to avoid any little thing that might remind you of the trauma. Sometimes it is hard to imagine ever having a normal life or relationships after going through such an event.

The good news is that therapy can help reduce or even eliminate the symptoms you feel after a trauma. You may not have chosen to live through a trauma but often choosing how and when you enter into therapy and the healing process can be an empowering step to feeling like you have your life back again. I use EMDR (www.emdr.com or www.emdria.org), Internal Family Systems, psychodynamic therapy, cognitive therapy and holistic interventions.  to help people work towards healing from their traumas. These modalities are proven effective. Many survivors are reluctant to start therapy, as they do not want to “stir it all up again.” But we will take therapy at your pace and I will be there to support you each step of the way.

EMDR is recognized by the World Health Organization, American Psychiatric Association and the United Nations as a preferred and effective trauma treatment. I am experienced in advanced EMDR protocols beyond the basic template. So if EMDR has not been helpful for you in the past contact me to discuss how these more advanced protocols might serve you. The most recent EMDR protocols are designed to minimize the re-activation of your trauma matrix and can be more gentle than the traditional protocols yet extremely effective. Depending on your situation I may be able to provide EMDR via teletherapy if it is safe to do so. 

Because many of my clients come to see me for recovery from trauma, abuse, or domestic violence, I end up hearing the word “narcissist” or “narcissistic” a lot in my office.  While I am unable to diagnose somebody that is not a patient, it is fair to say that it is likely that many perpetrators of abuse or neglect may fall on the continuum of narcissistic traits.

Some of my clients come to me already knowing terms such as “gaslighting” and “love bombing.”  Some of them already understand the impact that years of invalidation, minimization and lack of empathy has had on them as the child of a narcissistic mother or father or the spouse of a narcissist.  For some of my clients having somebody outside of their inner circle describe the common patterns that we see when people are struggling with a narcissist is eye opening and may be the first validation they get that they’re not alone and the situation is truly not ok.

Whether you’re the adult child of a narcissistic mother or narcissistic father, the partner of a narcissist, or the ex partner of a narcissist, the damage can be profound.  Often people lack the words to be able to describe what years of having their reality denied and manipulated to an outsider, but be assured that healing is possible.  Many people struggle with feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, depression and difficult personal relationships after being partnered with or raised by a narcissist.

There is hope for healing your life and relationships.  Whether you want to learn tools to cope with a family member who is incredibly difficult and toxic or you need to heal after coming to the realization you  need to cut this person out of your life, I can help.  I typically help people first address the intense anxiety they feel in their personal relationships and help them address whatever triggers are most disabling in the moment.  Then if the client is willing we go back and explore what it was in their early life or personality that made them vulnerable to narcissistic abuse.  Often I use psycho education to help increase understanding and awareness, psycho dynamic interventions to heal emotional wounds and EMDR to address traumas.  This therapy can be particularly helpful for people going through high conflict divorces with an ex-spouse who is impossible to compromise with.

A niche of my practice is dedicated helping women and couples with the unique issues that pregnancy and motherhood can bring up.  Pregnancy and motherhood is supposed to be a joyous time but for some women it brings up feelings of fear, loss, anxiety, and doubt.  For example:

• If your mom was absent physically or emotionally as you were growing up due to mental illness, jail, alcohol or drug abuse.
• A mother that was abusive or did not protect you from abuse.
• Sexual abuse survivors often feel out of control or anxious during pregnancy and lactation due to their changing body and the potential of medical intrusion.
• Women who have lost their moms at a young age or lack a good support system.
• Having a traumatic birth or a baby with health problems (NICU, preemie, etc.) brings up feelings of anxiety or difficulty bonding.
• Losing a baby during pregnancy or in the first few months of life.
• Having mood problems such as depression, trauma or anxiety that extend beyond the few weeks of normal “baby blues.”
• Experiencing difficulty in your relationship with your partner as you transition from a couple to co-parents.

In these situations and similar situations women feel anxious about their ability to mother, memories of abuse can re-surface, or the grief of losing your mom can come back once you begin to mother.  Some women, due to a history of abuse or difficulty with their own parents, aren’t even sure if they want to have babies of their own.

These feelings are normal and with proper help most women can get relief.  Addressing these feelings can allow you to better bond with your baby or child, feel more comfortable during pregnancy and labor, and reduce chances of postpartum depression, major depressive symptoms, or trauma.

*For my clients without kids-please know I work with people without kids and honor the choice of an individual to choose whether or not to become a parent!  Being child free by choice is an important right.  On the other hand, being child free due to fertility problems can bring people to counseling for a different set of issues.  I honor my clients and their individual situations.

 Coping with chronic pain or chronic or terminal illness can be life altering. Together you and I can improve your quality of life, develop coping skills, redefine your identity and in some cases provide a level of pain relief and improvement of health. Often the roots of chronic health issues or pain are steeped in difficult experiences from our childhood. Many of us are now familiar with our ACES (adverse childhood events score) and how this impacts our health. In addition to using tools like EMDR and IFS to address emotional pain I also use cbt, guided imagery and other holistic coping tools to help clients live their best possible lives. 

I offer confidential, effective treatment for first responders and military veterans. The long term effects of exposure to combat or crisis can significantly impact your relationships, well being and quality of life. Treatment and support can help. I have a unique perspective on the culture of law enforcement, the fire service and the military as I come from a family with many first responders and military veterans. Including practical self care approaches I often use EMDR to help alleviate symptoms of PTSD and burnout that can interfere with health and quality of life. 

Grief can take many forms. Despair, depression, distraction, numbing out, loss of sense of time or connection to those around you and more. I have worked with clients through the loss of a child, spouse, parent, sibling, friend or pets.  I am experienced in working with my clients to help them through one of life's most difficult challenges and create meaning and find comfort through the pain.