Divorce Recovery and Co-Parenting in Roseville and Californi

Divorce is never easy, but divorcing a high conflict person is especially challenging. Especially if children are involved. Whether the person is diagnosed with a personality disorder, you suspect certain pathology, or they’re just a generally difficult person, divorcing a toxic person can be fraught with challenges. 

Many people are slow to divorce a high conflict person because they understand that volatility will increase when they finally serve their ex with papers or even announce to them that they would like to end the relationship. If there is physical violence this time period can be especially dangerous. But even with emotional abuse or high conflict dynamics it is likely that you will need to prepare yourself for increased volatility during the transition. Which is sort of a nice way to describe the thermonuclear blast of separating from a challenging person. 

As a family systems trained trauma therapist I am experienced with working with complicated family dynamics including domestic violence (DV)/intimate partner violence (IPV), child abuse, substance abuse, legal issues, and challenging mental health issues. 

I have extensive post graduate training and experience working with partners/ex partners/family members of people with personality disorders. There is a lot of misinformation even in my field about the presentation and dynamics of people with these issues. I've taken training with some of the top therapists and psycholgoists in the field of studying personality disorders and intimate partner violence (IPV). I also have extensive experience working with people who are going through high conflict divorce and co-parenting. I understand the complexities of the legal system and how to work with a challenging co-parent. 

One of the difficult aspects of divorce is that you have less influence over the ex and they are angry so it can often increase their manipulation and animosity. It's important especially in the early months and years of the divorce to develop patterns and tools to minimize conflict where possible and create solid agreements so there is as little wiggle room for the abusive party to game the system as possible. It's also important to establish strong relationships with your kids in the aftermath of all of this as a single parent, as an ex with narcissism or similar pathology will try and pull your kids into the conflict or malign you. 

When you come to me for support in leaving, divorcing, or co-parenting with a high conflict person, I will support you with managing interactions with your ex as best as possible, will help you cope with the legalities of the divorce and custody agreement, identify ways the emotional abuse has upregulated your nervous system and targeting those situations with emdr. EMDR can be an important type of intervention to use after decades of emotional abuse or narcissistic abuse. The symptoms are very similar to ptsd if not totally in line with ptsd. The trauma bond can be very real and it is also held in the nervous system, so interventions that go beyond talk therapy are important to calm down the nervous system. 

Part of our treatment together will also help you work on moving into the present and future. Creating a new chapter for yourself and loved ones that is full of peace and optimism. 

Contact me via the button below or via email if you would like to discuss working together. Lindseystewart05@gmail.com